Friday, December 11, 2009

Mathia Lee's "Dating strangers safely".

Mathia Lee, previously a volunteer facilitator of AWARE's Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE), was meditating on the recent news report on how "one in five have dated a stranger they met through a social networking site, and one in 10 have been sexually harassed on such sites.”

Lee recounts how the students she taught didn't go out with strangers for fear of their safety. She then goes on to say, quite accurately in my piggish opinion, that almost always the dates we go on are with "near strangers" who at some point may even become "our husbands and wives".

The point is, you have to start somewhere, and being completely paralysed by the bogeymen of online predators simply isn't helpful.

Now, Porkchop here would gladly share some tips, but seeing as how he's practically plant-life in this department, he feels sharing Lee's highly sensible tips on dating strangers safely more useful, and suitable for the initial, "Base-1" hanging-out periods.

You know they're very good because they're relevant to all genders and sexual orientations navigating the initial minefield of love and sex.

I reproduce with minor edits, in brackets, italics, bold and underlined for better organisation:
Advice for Daters

[Group Dates] go out in groups

[Stay Public] stay only in public places

[Travel Public] insist that you can make your way to the date and back home on your own, rather than accepting a ride with [your date] alone in [hir] car. Or else, [ze] can accompany you on public transport.

[Tell Someone] letting someone, preferably your parents, know who you are going out with, and their details/contact no.s (See below.)

[Disclaim to Date] letting your date know that someone knows about him, and is watching out for you

+

Detailing to Someone

[Choose Helper] Tell someone, hopefully your parent/ guardian, but if you're not comfortable then let your classmate, or your best friend know.

[Details] You need to give this friend DETAILS Location of date, contact numbers of date, your parents, etc, start time, end time, etc.

[Disclaim to Date] Your date needs to know your friend has [hir] details; that’s a deterrant

[Set Pumpkin Hour] You need to tell your friend “I intend to be home by 10pm tonight. So if I don’t call you by 11pm, I might be in trouble and you need to get help”

[Establish Response/ Help] Your friend has to be reliable and trustworthy enough to actually try to call you, if you don’t call her/him, and reliable and trustworthy enough to contact your parents/the police, if you actually might be in trouble.
Fall in love with ease of mind, yo! Good luck and have fun now! :)

34 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing this; this is in fact a great reading. We have few online readers who will like to read this stuff. We will pass it on to our valuable readers for more feedback. Thanks and please post us and leave a comment back and well link to you. Thanking you. dating online

    ReplyDelete
  2. When you've had a few bad relationships or even a few dates that did not results in call-backs on either side, you begin to wonder what's wrong. If you're seeking dating advice, especially what not to say on the first date advice for women by men, you're not alone.

    ReplyDelete
  3. it was a wonderful chance to visit this kind of site and I am happy to know. thank you so much for giving us a chance to have this opportunity.. muslim singles

    ReplyDelete
  4. It was wondering if I could use this write-up on my other website, I will link it back to your website though.Great Thanks. Liverpool Singles

    ReplyDelete
  5. Excellent and very exciting site. Love to watch. Keep Rocking. How to be happy in life

    ReplyDelete
  6. I like to recommend exclusively fine plus efficient information and facts, hence notice it:
    twosome

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is helpful, nonetheless it can be crucial so that you can check out the following website:
    twosome

    ReplyDelete
  8. It was wondering if I could use this write-up on my other website, I will link it back to your website though.Great Thanks. www.luvfree.com/online_dating/united_states/jacksonville

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wow i can say that this is another great article as expected of this blog.Bookmarked this site.. Los Angeles Personals

    ReplyDelete
  10. It is not enough to know about healthy food or exercise. It freefuckbook.eu not adequate to focus on your body and forget about other aspects. Health is about the combination of all important factors.

    ReplyDelete

  11. i like your stuff if you want to know more about How to stop arguing-in-a-relationship/ and couples life then please comment belo

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is such a great resource that you are providing and you give it away for free. I love seeing blog that understand the value of providing a quality resource for free. polyamory dating sites

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thanks for a wonderful share. Your article has proved your hard work and experience you have got in this field. Brilliant .i love it reading. Relationships

    ReplyDelete
  14. You there, this is really good post here. Thanks for taking the time to post such valuable information. Quality content is what always gets the visitors coming. http://www.coupleseekingawoman.com

    ReplyDelete
  15. Took me time to read all the comments, but I really enjoyed the article. It proved to be Very helpful to me and I am sure to all the commenters here! It’s always nice when you can not only be informed, but also entertained! swinger sites

    ReplyDelete
  16. Just a few years ago many people wouldn't even think of dating online, believing that only weird, unattractive, desperate, or extremely shy people used the Net to find dates. Since then, online dating has evolved and is now a mainstream trend among singles. escort girls in Kuwait

    ReplyDelete
  17. Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I'll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon. Big thanks for the useful info. https://singlescenedating.com/barebackrt/

    ReplyDelete
  18. Admiring the time and effort you put into your blog and detailed information you offer!.. Latter-day Saints

    ReplyDelete
  19. There are many reasons to give a business gift to a colleague or client. The types of gifts vary for each occasion. It is paramount to understand who and what type of business, general relationship, policies on gift amount limits, culture and region when you decide giving a business gift is appropriate. So try to avoid the embarrassing pitfalls of giving too much or too little by using this guide to help steer you towards success... how to tell if a guy likes you

    ReplyDelete
  20. acdc cbd oil online just as revitalizing and comforting as listening to the playlist of your favorite tunes. Consider us for AC/DC Cbd oil for sale, acdc near me and magical ac strains for medical purpose.

    ReplyDelete
  21. this is really nice to read..informative post is very good to read..thanks a lot! mutual lds

    ReplyDelete
  22. Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I'll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon. Big thanks for the useful info. mutual dating

    ReplyDelete
  23. Positive site, where did u come up with the information on this posting?I have read a few of the articles on your website now, and I really like your style. Thanks a million and please keep up the effective work. Checkerviet Hà nội

    ReplyDelete
  24. Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. Any way I'll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you post again soon. Big thanks for the useful info. 台北外送茶

    ReplyDelete
  25. Excellent .. Amazing .. I’ll bookmark your blog and take the feeds also…I’m happy to find so many useful info here in the post, we need work out more techniques in this regard, thanks for sharing. mutual dating app

    ReplyDelete
  26. I am continually amazed by the amount of information available on this subject. What you presented was well researched and well worded in order to get your stand on this across to all your readers. mutual app

    ReplyDelete
  27. This was really an interesting topic and I kinda agree with what you have mentioned here! filipino girls

    ReplyDelete
  28. Allied International Security is a Southern California based security guard services company. We provide Unarmed and Armed security guard officers to large and small commercial, industrial and residential clients.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Arenas De Bavaro real estate
    If you are tensed or worried about your old or native place/land ,
    we provide the best solution for that as well by providing the best resources for property renovation. Tropical Home Away will help you renovate your place in such a way that no one
    will ever be able to tell if it is a newly built place or is a renovated place!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Construction Site Security
    We will provide you with well trained and reliable security staff, security Guards and well managed and well organized security services. We are available 24/7 to give you the best service available. Our company is fully insured and Licensed by BSIS, with the most modern security equipment available to serve our customers.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Property Cleaning
    Cleaning Services are amongst one of our special features, we provide the best cleaning services in the area with proper disinfecting as well. Your home will be as fresh as new and aromatic as well.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Hookup China Dating Site has become so popular as a way of meeting singles for those people that do not want to waste time and money in single's bars every weekend. The internet has changed the dating scene all over the world. But there is a difference when it comes to dating online and hookup dating online.

    ReplyDelete

Please avoid (1) victim-blaming, (2) justifying any particular instance of oppression/exploitation, (3) explaining that we live in a post-feminist/racist/ablist/enter-oppression-here world, or (4) Mansplaining at all. Barn writers are free to moderate their own posts how ever they deem fit, and not obligated to entertain any comment. If you suspect it might seem offensive, don't comment.

(See our note on comments.)