Friday, December 11, 2009

Mathia Lee's "Dating strangers safely".

Mathia Lee, previously a volunteer facilitator of AWARE's Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE), was meditating on the recent news report on how "one in five have dated a stranger they met through a social networking site, and one in 10 have been sexually harassed on such sites.”

Lee recounts how the students she taught didn't go out with strangers for fear of their safety. She then goes on to say, quite accurately in my piggish opinion, that almost always the dates we go on are with "near strangers" who at some point may even become "our husbands and wives".

The point is, you have to start somewhere, and being completely paralysed by the bogeymen of online predators simply isn't helpful.

Now, Porkchop here would gladly share some tips, but seeing as how he's practically plant-life in this department, he feels sharing Lee's highly sensible tips on dating strangers safely more useful, and suitable for the initial, "Base-1" hanging-out periods.

You know they're very good because they're relevant to all genders and sexual orientations navigating the initial minefield of love and sex.

I reproduce with minor edits, in brackets, italics, bold and underlined for better organisation:
Advice for Daters

[Group Dates] go out in groups

[Stay Public] stay only in public places

[Travel Public] insist that you can make your way to the date and back home on your own, rather than accepting a ride with [your date] alone in [hir] car. Or else, [ze] can accompany you on public transport.

[Tell Someone] letting someone, preferably your parents, know who you are going out with, and their details/contact no.s (See below.)

[Disclaim to Date] letting your date know that someone knows about him, and is watching out for you


Detailing to Someone

[Choose Helper] Tell someone, hopefully your parent/ guardian, but if you're not comfortable then let your classmate, or your best friend know.

[Details] You need to give this friend DETAILS Location of date, contact numbers of date, your parents, etc, start time, end time, etc.

[Disclaim to Date] Your date needs to know your friend has [hir] details; that’s a deterrant

[Set Pumpkin Hour] You need to tell your friend “I intend to be home by 10pm tonight. So if I don’t call you by 11pm, I might be in trouble and you need to get help”

[Establish Response/ Help] Your friend has to be reliable and trustworthy enough to actually try to call you, if you don’t call her/him, and reliable and trustworthy enough to contact your parents/the police, if you actually might be in trouble.
Fall in love with ease of mind, yo! Good luck and have fun now! :)


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