"the world becomes a nastier place for women"

In case you missed the memo, a Straits Times journalist wrote a damn fine piece the other day about the horrendous New Year's Eve party assault case that was caught on video and spread virally. There's not much else I wish to add to the piece substantively, but here's the important part: (read the whole piece after the cut; emboldening mine)

Then there are the comments on the video. I will paraphrase the remarks because some of the comments do not bear repeating in a family paper. They are along the lines of 'She deserved it', 'She was drunk' and 'She was wearing so little, she was asking for it'.

Worst of all: 'She looked like she was enjoying it.'

I thought I was living in a civilised and enlightened society which, by and large, respects women, and that such ludicrous reasoning was behind us. Clearly not.

A woman wearing a halter top and a short skirt walking down a dark street gets molested. Was she foolish? Maybe. Did she lack awareness? Yes. Did she deserve to be molested or raped? No.

Just suppose a man wearing a flashy watch is robbed while walking down a dark street. Would people say that he deserved his comeuppance?

No one deserves to be assaulted, sexually or otherwise.

The victim has been accused of being an attention-seeker. Deejay Daniel Ong, who was hosting the party, was quoted as saying that she mooned the crowd by showing her buttocks and dirty-danced with someone.

The implication, again, is that she was asking for it. She was a slut. Good girls do not dance like that. Good girls stay home.

Those who blame the victim are putting forth a poor argument that is dressed up with huge lashings of misogyny.

No, she was not asking for it. She was clubbing and she might have been behaving provocatively, but she was a human being with rights that need to be respected.

...

Each time somebody says a woman behaves like a whore and, hence, deserves something bad to happen to her, we take a step backwards. And the world becomes a nastier place for women.

It was a real pity that the editor decided to solicit at the end of the article if readers felt that the woman deserves it.

SRLY!?!?!?!?

And there's also the question of why this article appeared in the Life! section of the papers--am I supposed to understand this to be casually entertaining? A piece on Avatar's White Messiah syndrome appeared day before yesterday in the main section of the newspaper, but a discussion on sexual assault gets lifestyle, entertainment and the arts treatment.

Great.

And before anyone starts that 'no, she's (maybe) a trans-woman', well, here's a dude, definitiv with an awesome response to that--yeah, sexual assault prevention doesn't reside only in the domain of family-busting feminists and cis-people, yo:

I am still angry after 2 days!!! Who cares about her sexuality, or what race the molesters are!!! Fucking STOMP is spilling over with uneducated, illogical boors. She doesn't deserve jackshit, and molesters are molesters, what ever their race. Transsexuals have feelings. My blue balls might disagree vehemently and hurt me in the process, but I've had chicks say "stop" after hot and heavy foreplay, and every time with much reluctance I relent and go sulk in a corner. It's not even about the fear of rape accusations!!! Don't people have respect for each other any more??? Even if she was a cockteaser when girls say stop, STOP!!! (Sauce.)

I'm too angry (and late for barn duties) to issue Awesome Possum awards, but much thanks to Adeline Chia and definitiv (of course, Molly Meek too) for lending some much needed light on this.

(Thanks to reader Beka for highlighting the matter.)

+++

Jan 8, 2010
Shameful act
By Adeline Chia, Arts Reporter

Recently I saw one of the most harrowing videos I have seen in a long time. And it was less than a minute long.

Many people would probably have seen it. It shows a bikini-clad woman being molested by four men at a New Year's countdown party on Sentosa.

The men grope her breasts and press against her. When she falls, they pull her to her feet and continue to molest her. She tries to get away but they surround her.

So many things about this clip haunt me.

It was not just the leering, swinish and criminal behaviour of the men that made my blood run cold. The offence itself was hellish. But what really made me feel violated and implicated in the girl's plight were the cameras.

In the video, you can see flashes of cameras going off. Some onlookers were also filming the event.

Not only did they think it was okay to stand around and watch a crime unfold without doing anything, but they also decided to whip out their mobile phones to record it.

A lot has been said about Singaporeans being an apathetic lot. Many of us, trained in the reticent, anti-busybody Asian school of thought, hesitate in interfering in other people's affairs.

Last year, a LifeStyle article showed that most Singaporeans would not stop a man hitting a woman in public. They did not think it was their business to intervene in a private quarrel.

In the New Year's Eve molest case, the onlookers also thought it was not their business to stop the men. It was not their business to get someone, such as a security guard or a bouncer, to stop it. But it became their business to film it.

The apathy is staggering. So is the exploitation of the poor woman.

Videos of the molest have been posted on the Internet. YouTube has taken down the video because the video-hosting site knows that there are boundaries that should not be crossed and there are perverts out there who enjoy looking at such images.

Then there are the comments on the video. I will paraphrase the remarks because some of the comments do not bear repeating in a family paper. They are along the lines of 'She deserved it', 'She was drunk' and 'She was wearing so little, she was asking for it'.

Worst of all: 'She looked like she was enjoying it.'

I thought I was living in a civilised and enlightened society which, by and large, respects women, and that such ludicrous reasoning was behind us. Clearly not.

A woman wearing a halter top and a short skirt walking down a dark street gets molested. Was she foolish? Maybe. Did she lack awareness? Yes. Did she deserve to be molested or raped? No.

Just suppose a man wearing a flashy watch is robbed while walking down a dark street. Would people say that he deserved his comeuppance?

No one deserves to be assaulted, sexually or otherwise.

The victim has been accused of being an attention-seeker. Deejay Daniel Ong, who was hosting the party, was quoted as saying that she mooned the crowd by showing her buttocks and dirty-danced with someone.

The implication, again, is that she was asking for it. She was a slut. Good girls do not dance like that. Good girls stay home.

Those who blame the victim are putting forth a poor argument that is dressed up with huge lashings of misogyny.

No, she was not asking for it. She was clubbing and she might have been behaving provocatively, but she was a human being with rights that need to be respected.

This case reminds me of what happened to Jodie Foster's character in the movie, The Accused.

She was dirty-dancing with a man in a pub and ended up being gang-raped, cheered on by onlookers. After fighting prejudice and a tortuous legal system, she got justice in the end.

The Accused was made in 1988. It is time we got the message: A woman does not forfeit her rights when she drinks too much or behaves 'wildly'. (Incidentally, a man tends to be forgiven for transgressions committed when he is drunk.)

Each time somebody says a woman behaves like a whore and, hence, deserves something bad to happen to her, we take a step backwards. And the world becomes a nastier place for women.